A blissful marriage

 

Dear Diary, 

As day passes by, i knew certain people & their relationship were on rock bottom, i somehow felt a fear to get married for the last time. 

I don't know if i could for see my myself in another marriage. How am i able to sustain a good marriage ? Or maybe i have never felt the real kinda love before this. I really dont know. I agree, all relationship has their ups & downs. It is a matter of how both party tackle the issue. 

As for myself, i use to react and make decision with emotions. I was constantly reminded " DONT FOLLOW EMOTIONS, IT WILL DESTROY YOU". I chose not to. But when i react or make decisions with logic, i am being told that i do not have nay empathy or i didnt put myself at anyone's shoes. Hard isnt it to please people. I know. But who is going to please me? 

I dont worry about the future at all. But i am well prepared. It is just that, am i able to go through hurdles & hurricane of marriage again? With the right person? I dont really know. I leave it to the above. I am sure when the time is right, i will know the answer. For now, i could only pray, to be married with someone who loves me more, who shows me love, who shows me how a person love someone deeply. To show me & teach how to tackle issues with life & emotions. 

Honestly, i could tackle problems & issues at work but never been about life. Nobody's perfect right ? Yeah. But hopefully i will be gifted with that person. My person, the male version of me & a person who is gonna love me endlessly. A person who i can have that connection till last breath. 

Nobody wants a broken marriage. If i were to get married this time, he is going to be last, my life & my death. My ride & die. My strength & weakness. 

Xoxo, 

_galangal_