At 1 moment i am feeling okay. At another i am not. I dont what to feel. So numb with myself lately whenever i am alone.
I have yet to sleep well these pass few days. Mostly are a few hours. I tried hard to sleep despite work was busy.
Is it love i am looking for all along ? How do i know and recognize when i someone is madly in love with me ?
I only doubt myself. Will there be anyone who loves me wholeheartedly and sincerely ? Who wants me and accept me for who i am ? Not for what i have, not for the miserable life i have, not for lust amd not because they were lonely.
I wanted a happy marriage. With someone i could look up to. Someone who is an inspiration to make me go better. Someone who could guide me to be a better human. Someone who never fail to show love in all forms.
Maybe the time has yet to come. Maybe not. I was often told to love myself more. But how do i even when i dont have enough for myself.
People dont understand the way i show love. Its more of receiving and giving. You gave me your love, i gave you mine and vice versa.
Maybe i wont get that much love in this dunya. Maybe in Jannah In shaa Allah. I am no longer crying. I am just exhausted. Exhausted of feeling empty. I felt empty each time i am alone. I dont know why but i really feel empty.
Love, where are you ? Are you reaching soon ? I have been yearning for you. For the last time - till death do us apart
XoXo,
_galangal_
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