Hello ❤️

 Dear Diary, 

It has been years eversince i wrote about my life journey. 16 years to be exact ? 

16 years full of emotional rides. Tears, laughter, anger, dissapointment, achievement, failure love. Never once there was hatred in for anyone. 

Lately, i had the most downfall of my life. I had never been this sad. So much of sadness that i felt i might annoy someone who i am dearly attached to. 

Last night was the 3rd suicidal attempt i tried to do. The sadness i had, the grief i had and the emptiness i had in me was so deep that i thought ending my life would be the only solution. 

Lately i had so much of trust issues. With everybody. I no longer trust humans with whatever they said. All along humans only promise by words but never by actions. 

I have never been anyone who could really put up with my tantrum or when i just want to let out what i felt. Or maybe anyone whom i could cry my lungs out and be okay the next minute. Even so if there was, it was only once and it started to fade. It was no longer like the start. Maybe the person is losing a grip of me. I dont know. Dont want to assume because i am tired of being hurt.

I had stopped talking about what i felt to anyone because i do not want to hurt anybody. That is where i end up here. I cant be talking to myself and writing is just too old school 🤪🤪🤪 

Maybe they dont understand. Or it was just me who does not know how to express what i felt that others assume i am being childish. That is all i have to say for today. Thought of comforting myself to Madly Good's pistachio crepe later on. 

Signing off, 

XoXo 

_galangal_ ❤️