Moving On 💋

Dear Diary, 

I feel different now. No longer looking for love. No longer looking for companionship. I found love in myself. I found happiness in myself. 

Phone maybe dry as fuck but the least i am at peace. Doing my own stuff. Reading my book. Loving my cat and ensuring my room, myself & my toilet smells nice. It is all about smelling nice. 

Finally i found the meaning to find Allah's love. The love for Allah. We live for Allah. I guess that was why Allah distanced me & CW. Because Allah knows he is not the one. Even this heart has only his name, his features and his voice, i know i could not change the fate. I am still moving on. I let him go. But i am not ready for another love. Not that i am hurt but i want to be cautious and not fall for the wrong person again. 

There were a lot of signs. But I ignore it. Now i realise. All are clear. Allah showing me signs that i dont need anybody. I need Him all along. I feel peace and calm. Though at times i dreamnt about CW alot but i know its all a part of healing. Cant deny that i love him still, i miss him a lot. But that doesnt change the fact that i chose my own happiness. 

Now its all for Allah. Let love comes by for Allah. For the sake of Allah. I may be a sinner. But Allah is the Most Merciful & the Most Forgiving. I shall move along slowly to where my destiny was meant for me. 

I am not broken. I am not sad. I am feeling grateful that i finally found myself and to love my wholeheartedly. 6 months was indeed fast. I realised i loved him the most. But i accepted the fact that he was not meant to be mine. 

Xoxo 💋

_galangal