Last night i cried my heart all out. Letting go of all the sadness i have kept within. I prayed to Allah. Seeking forgiveness for i had sin badly. I cried in my last sujood. Asking for forgiveness, asking for peace and calm. Asking for a way out of this misery feeling.
The empathy i had in me was too deep. I dived into a person's soul to understand what they are facing and what they felt. It wasnt a mistake. But it was a wrong move that got me into so much of heartbreaks and sadness till i became negative myself as a person.
This morning, i woke up. I felt better and told myself, it is time to take a small step forward. Dont be stagnant. No one is going to save me. Even Allah is not going to save me because i didnt put in any effort to start healing. I realised i dont need to cling on to anyone. I just need my closest one to hear me.
I put on the shirt that i bought, i put on make up and finally took a selfie of myself after weeks of hiding myself in the dark. Eventhough the eyebags are the evidence of all the terrors i had but i know that shall heal too 1 day.
Finally i could breath. I feel lighter. I feel at ease. I can think. I can laugh and i can be silly. I really miss laughing out loud till tears roll down. It has been awhile i had all that.
Lastly, i asked Allah to filter me away from people who are using me, playing me out and misleading me out from my religion. I am a sinner. But i remember my religion, my God & my Prophet saw.
If Love was meant to be mine one day, Allah will pair me up without me even trying to find it. All i need to do know is to love myself,heal & be happy.
I am looking forward for school and my Bali trip in January next year. My 1st ever solo trip. May this trip be memorable one for me.
P/S: i have lost 7kg as of now ! To more shedding of weight! Yeayyyh ♥️♥️♥️
Road To Recovery ♥️
XoXo,
_galangal_
time will heal all pain 🤍
ReplyDelete