Dear Diary,
I feel a lot better. I could breathe. I am happy and i am proud that i could love myself more. It is like goshh. I am in love with myself.
To the point that i felt, if no one feels proud of me for whatever achievements i did, i have the right to be proud of myself and i manage to do it. It may be sucks. But it is alright. If i can love myself rather than wanting people to love me, why not be proud of myself for the success and achievements that I have made.
To the point that i do not want to add anymore trauma to myself, not that i chose not to speak up but i would rather set my boundaries. Not to get myself to hurt again and put high hopes on anyone.
I am not giving up but i want to let go of all the traumas, the pains & and failure that has been done. I honour it, acknowledge it and bid it farewell. I agree this is just the starting phase but whatever happens, i am not gonna love hard nor gonna hope high for anyone.
If he was true, he will know, he will show and I wouldn't want to say a lot of times for what i always wanted in a relationship. I just want to be in a relationship where i do not need to have any doubts or insecurities. Honestly i do not wanna live in fear. I do not want to relapse for all the traumas that i had gone through.
I am alright. I am happier and i really love myself. To more self love, self care & healing.
When true loves come, it will. When i am ready. For now, it is just me with my battle to fight depression and being happy totally as a person myself.
For now, i am taking each day step by step. The positive one i will post and share. The negative ones i will reflect, acknowledge and let it go.
Finding peace for myself and my mental health ♥️
XoXo,
_galangal_
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